A SPECIAL MESSAGE FOR BIG HOLLYWOOD RE: THE MILA KUNIS LOVE

Big Hollywood…we love you guys! But chill with all the Mila Kunis love. She decided on a lark to go to a ball with a Marine and she bashed communism. Fine. No reason to declare that somehow Mila Kunis, a gorgeous gal don’t get us wrong, is somehow all of the sudden impossibly hotter than she was the day before. And don’t go overboard with the her slam on communism. She did in fact say communism was a great idea in theory. I’d take exception to that. That’s the whole point of the last 3 years: there’s nothing great in theory about creeping government managing and planning more and more sectors of our lives. As a theoretical frameworkd there’s nothing great, romantic, idealistic, or remarkable about that viewpoint.

We see this tendency happen all the time with conservatives. If someone says something even remotely positive about a non-liberal idea, all of the sudden conservatives turn into 15-year olds at a Twilight showing. We get it. You guys are so starved for any kind of appreciation from the mainstream world — after the years of abuse you feel you’ve taken by Hollywood, etc. — that you’ll take whatever you can get. And, truth be told, you’ve had some major coups the last few years. Robert Downey, Jr., David Mamet, Gene Simmons, and a personal favorite of The Darjeeling Ex, Glenn Danzig (!!).

May we just caution you all not to completely wet yourselves the next time Angelina Jolie, Lady Gaga, or Justin Bieber express a conservative sentiment or have a critcal barb directed at Obama.  Don’t go nominating Jolie for sainthood. Don’t do a Big Hollywood article about how suddenly you have a brand new respect for Justin Bieber’s stand-up character. No long missives on how Lady Gaga is actually more underrated as an artist than you’d realized. It’s weak. What makes Big Hollywood fascinating is how conservative writing about Hollywood seems so subversive; being ingratiated by Hollywood players undermines that a bit. Enjoy being the outcasts and the misfits. Not all of us want to be welcomed by the bigs in Hollywood.

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