November 26, 2011

KNOW YOUR MASK: The Guy Fawkes Edition

88% of OWS identify the masks as a character from “V for Vendetta”

78% of OWS participants think Guy Fawkes is a French porn star

44% of respondents wear the mask to hide horrible acne.

12% have gotten laid wearing just the mask during the 2 minute duration of intercourse.

We here at the Darjeeling Express are actually thankful for the Guy Fawkes mask, because the truth is Marxists, anarchists, and progressives in general are not very good looking people. We hope they all continue to fight the Man and express their individuality by wearing the same exact mask created for them by some corporation they hate.

We’re always amused by leftists co-opting traditions and symbols they don’t understand. Some of our other favorites:

Living in squalor and filth to emulate third world poverty.

Pretending to be into bland International cuisine.

The fascination with yoga and Hari Krishnas.

The Nazi Symbol

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November 26, 2011

MSNBC ANCHOR PUTS OUT COLORING BOOK

“I’ve written so many books the past few years,” said Morning Joe co-anchor Mika Brzezinski over milk and chocolate chip cookies. “It’s so wonderful to constantly challenge myself with my craft.”

“My latest book is definitely my most challenging project. It really gets to the core of who I am and what informs my belief system as a professional and objective news journalist with no bias whatsoever.”

 

November 24, 2011

MARTYR OF THE WEEK: TATYANA LIMANOVA

The Russian news anchor was sacked for doing what most Americans reflexively do when they hear the words Barack Obama.

Here’s commentary from our unofficial youtube correspondent, isayitlikeitis:

Truth of the matter is, there’s been an outbreak all over the country of the phenomenon called Obama Bird Flicking syndrome that has been unreported by the media. What CDC researches didn’t realize until the Limanova situation is that giving Obama the middle finger might in fact be a pandemic.

Our Sports editor, Gaurav, was at hhgreggs the other day looking for a flat screen when Obama’s giant, graying noggin appeared on multiple big screens, 1984 style, for a presser. Gaurav gave Obama’s HD face the double-barrel middle finger action and he didn’t even realize it. “It was like Tourette’s or something,” he said. “I just couldn’t help it. There I was at hhgreggs with both my arms high in the air, flicking Obama’s mug multiple birds. One of the sales reps walks by with this look of concern, and I’m thinking he’s about to kick me out of the store or something, and he says to me, ‘I hear ya, bro’.”

Nazi’s gave Hitler the sieg heil. Libyans gave Qhaddafi a little sodomy action with a wooden stick. We give Obama the Bird. Perfectly natural (and civil, I might add), and a lady as lovely as Tatyana (or Tatiana) Limanova shouldn’t get fired over it. Give her Shepard Smith’s 7pm ET slot on FNC right before Bill-O.

November 24, 2011

CO-A**HOLES OF THE WEEK: Piers “La Douche” Morgan and Mark Kelly

From Newsbusters: “Although it’s long been proved that Sarah Palin and so-called violent political rhetoric had absolutely nothing to do with January’s tragic shootings in Tucson, Arizona, CNN’s Piers Morgan felt it was necessary to bring her up during Wednesday’s interview with Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords’ (D-Ariz.) husband.

For his part, astronaut Mark Kelly was only too happy to take the bait and run with it.

Some quick notes. One — If Jared Loughner — who shot Gabby Giffords in the head — wasn’t in jail today, he’d belong to the 99% of the Occupy Wall Street movement. He’s a psycho nut-job. He’s a zombie who belongs to the progressive bowel movement. He’d fit right in with the fleabaggers and the tent people. He belongs to the long tradition of knuckleheaded Leftists who shoot at the White House, take dumps on police cars, rape women, and invite pepper spray into their  eyes.

Two — Piers is an a**hole for always instigating celebrities and his guests to answer questions they don’t know anything about or going places they don’t need to go. Sarah Palin has been out of the news. Why bring her up again? Every single chance these nutjobs get, they look for an opportunity to rail on Palin. It’s beyond boring or gauche. I would love to hate Sarah Palin, but you idiots in Hollywood and the media have made it utterly impossible for me. I end up admiring her more and thinking less and less of you psychos.

Hey celebs, do you want to know how to handle questions you don’t know anything about? Check out the way Mickey Rourke subtly tells Piers Morgan to go fly a kite on a Barack Obama question. Morgan is baiting Rourke as he does with so many celebs to declare themselves Obama loving progressives. He’s looking for an opportunity to bash conservatives. This ain’t the 1980s, Piers. No one in this country gives a damn what celebs think anymore. Because we know half of being a great actor involves them being blank slates, also known as Morons.

Third — Mark Kelly. You’re an astronaut. That’s awesome. Your wife is recovering. That’s spectacular and I’m so happy for the both of you. You’re on the Piers Morgan show promoting something. Fine. If you’d stopped there, we’d be square.

But then you had to humor Piers Morgan with the Palin bashing. You used Palin’s name in your book to sell your book. You’re basically using your stature in the media to make more and more middle-Americans hate on Palin. That’s your objective. You’re doing the bidding of the Democrat party. There’s no need for that and it actually tells me quite a bit about you. So you know what Mark Kelly? For shamelessly using Palin as your pinata, for cynically coarsening the political discourse, and for being a willing pawn in Piers Morgan’s game of “Doesn’t Sarah Palin Suck?”: You’re an a**hole of the week (and I also genuinely hope your wife’s recovery continues).

(h/t: Newsbusters)

PIERS MORGAN, HOST: Some interesting insights in the book into who, you know, walked to the plate and who didn’t, really, in terms of political colleagues and people that she had worked for and against. Sarah Palin doesn’t come out of this very well, I don’t think, because there was a woman who at the time had been putting these cross hair things on her website and stuff, including Gabby.

And in her haste to take responsibility didn’t even bother to pick the phone up, to write, do anything.

MARK KELLY: Yeah, we were never contacted by her.

Riiiigght….and if she had called, you would have said, “Can you believe THAT woman had the nerve to call to apologize??” Why would she contact you? She had nothing to do with you people.
MORGAN: I find that extraordinary.
KELLY: Yeah, I was surprised too. You know, certainly the targets that she put over Gabby’s and other people’s districts, in our opinion, was not the right thing to do. She is not the first person to do that. And it hasn’t always been Republicans that have done that.”
They were surveyor points. NOT TARGETS. So the guy admits the “targets” have been used before (see: Beckel, Bob), but then he acts all butthurt that he didn’t get a phone call from Palin. Your wife is in the hospital fighting for her life, and you expect me to believe that at some point you were expecting a call from Sarah Palin? (BTW, your wife was shot THIS year back in January. How did you have the time to come up with a book?)
So then the Royal Duchess of Doucheberry, not feeling Kelly had adequately burned the former mayor of Wasilla, instigates Kelly further…..

MORGAN: I liked your line about it, which is if you had had the chance to talk to [Palin], and you were expecting to, you weren’t going to say that you were responsible. But you were going to say, you’ve been irresponsible.

KELLY: Yeah, that’s my plan. You know, this was no surprise to us. Gabby even spoke about it before January 8th, during the election cycle, leading up to the election, in an interview. I think it might have been on MSNBC or some other — another cable news network. She made is very clear that, hey, this is what’s going on, and this could ultimately incite people to do violent things. So it wasn’t a big surprise on January 8th that — you know, that we — you know, where we knew this map existed with the cross-hairs on it. Now, having said that, you know, Sarah Palin certainly is not responsible for what happened. But I think the angry rhetoric in an election year is not — it’s not helpful.

This illustrates one of the fundamental differences between Leftists and the rest of us: Accountability. Some of us want to be responsible for our own individual behavior. We accept that life isn’t perfect or necessarily fair. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Evil does exist in the world (there’s no relativism about it and there’s no need to look for psychological explanations as to why people are crazy). We can accept that guns exist. Danger and risk are a part of the world. We accept our role in the world and don’t need to  be protected from every little danger. Sometimes dodgeballs hit us in the face. It happens. We get right back up, find a ball, and throw it right back. It’s a part of the game, and nothing to cry about. We accept “target” symbols for what they are, and when the cosmic forces align such that Gabby Giffords gets shot by a psychopath, we have enough savvy about the world to not act like weasels, and blame Sarah Palin for every little thing.
November 23, 2011

AWWW, SHE’S ALL GROWED UP: Sooo cute. Look a the little girl using daddy’s connections to get a job! Awwww, how adorable! Who’s a trust fund baby? Who’s an unqualified hack? You are! No! You are! Awww…

DAVE ZURAWIK : on Chelsea Clinton’s new job with NBC and whether she deserved it: “What we are really talking about here is a child of incredible privilege who refused to talk to the press and now decides she wants to be a “special” member of that group?

As for being “remarkable” and a person of such great achievement, listen, if you are 31 years old and able to go to school full time without working as she is and still haven’t earned your Ph.D., well, let’s just say maybe what you need is to learn how to focus your energies on a dissertation — not a diversionary job at NBC in a discipline for which you have shown nothing but contempt.

As for her “uncommon understanding of humanity,” let’s just be kind and blame it on too much blood running to Brian Williams head the last time he bowed to the President.

November 23, 2011

GAME CHANGER: ROMNEY GETS COVETED ENDORSEMENT FROM PSYCHOPATH FROM ‘COBRA’

John Thune (R-South Dakota).

Ron Paul fans are HUGE fans of ‘Cobra’, but this endorsement is unlikely to cut into Dr. Paul’s devoted 10%. Nice idea though. Can’t wait for the next poll that comes out. We’ll really get a sense for what an endorsement from powerbrokers like John Thune or Kelly Ayotte can do. Could Mittens move from 20% to 20.1%?

November 23, 2011

CLIMATEGATE 2.0 HAS ARRIVED!! (and the Trolls/Warmists aren’t happy)…

Awwwwww…downtwinkles…

James Delingpole from the UK Telegraph outlines the stages of grief for the warmists in the aftermath of new emails undermining climate “science”:

Stage 1: they aren’t real emails
Stage 2: they are real emails but they aren’t in context
Stage 3: they are in context, but that’s how scientists work
Stage 4: ok, this isn’t really science, but you guys stole the emails!
Stage 5: this is old stuff
Stage 6: this is nothing
Stage 7: look everyone! Winter storm! See, we have proof of our theories now.

Repeat as needed

Speaking of…Here’s the major question everyone up and down Greenland is asking: Who will be Miss Climategate 2011?

Here’s a picture of the 2009 winner:

(H/T: Democrat = Socialist)

November 23, 2011

JOB OPENINGS IN SAN FRANCISCO?

From MISFIT POLITICS: “Misfit Politics presents an exclusive commercial to help promote the Occupy San Francisco protest.

May your twinkles be mighty, male-bodied and female-bodied persons.

November 23, 2011

WISCONSIN D.A. GOES AFTER 6-YEAR OLD FOR PRACTICING MEDICINE WITHOUT A LICENSE

 

REASON: “Last week the parents of a Wisconsin boy sued Grant County District Attorney Lisa Riniker for charging their son with first-degree sexual assault, a Class B felony, after he played “butt doctor” with a 5-year-old girl. He was 6 at the time. When the boy’s lawyer tried to have the charge dismissed, Riniker replied: “The legislature could have put an age restriction in the statute if it wanted to. The legislature did no such thing.”

..

“The lawsuit says that once he turns 18, he will be listed as a sex offender.

Lawyer’s are so awesome. I don’t care what anyone says. Noble profession, my friends. Noble profession.

November 23, 2011

Why is he called Questlove anyway??

On his radio show today Rush Limbaugh welcomed First Lady, Michelle Obama, to the EIB network with Sir Mix A Lot’s “I Like Big Butts”. This bit of absurdity was in contrast to QuestLove having the Jimmy Fallon house band play Fishbone’s “Lyin’ Ass Bitch” to intro Michelle Bachmann.