OH MY GAWD! Dude, Eli Roth! That is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I get it. You’re making fun of Michele Bachman, right? Her suname? You did something with it, right? That’s SOOOO FUNNY. You took her name, Bachmann, and then you changed the words or rearranged them, right? You are so edgy, dude. So funny. That’s why the left is so on-point, because their sense of humor is just bristling with unconventional wit and insight. That’s so funny. Suck my cock – man.

Love it, Eli Roth. If this whole career of derivative slasher flick doesn’t work out for you, maybe you could be a writer for Gawker!! How awesome would that be? Seriously, you should be a writer for the Bill Maher show.

No offense, Eli, but you’ve spent your entire life wanting to be a film director, right? And — no offense — but, let’s be honest, you’re not that good at it. Would you agree? You kind of suck at it in fact. What’s your memorable movie, dude? Hostel?? Seriously? You’ve been dedicating a good deal of time and effort to your craft, and basically you’re kind of an overrated third-rate director who cuts people up without any guile or high art ambitions. So maybe, just maybe, this comedy writing thing is the way to go! Because I gotta tell ya —  Suck-My-Cock-Man. That’s genius, dude.

My concern, Eli, is that your sense of humor might be way too high brow for the rest of us. I almost missed the joke as it went hurling over my head into a porta-potty. Here you are: a liberal progressive hero who is looking out for women and wants to protect women’s rights (allegedly), and loves your mother. And then in your tweet you were taking on the character of a guy who uses the syntax of hateful misogynists who have real emotional issues and problems with intimacy.

You couldn’t simply tweet: “I disagree with Michele Bachmann on the direction she wants to take our country. I believe in Big Government. I think we should raise taxes on everyone, and redistribute wealth so that we subsidize a larger entitlement class. For this reason, I disagree with Michele Bachmann, but I wish her well in life.” I’m not sure if that’s 140 characters, but there it is. You could tweet that, but you went with the more cerebral and subtle: Sock-my-cock-man gem.

Hey, Eli,  how do you do the Beavis & Butthead laughing emoticon: Huh Huh…Huh-huh…Huh-huh, Huh-huh…He said, ‘suck my cock man’.


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