MATT DAMON GETS IN CHARACTER AS WILL HUNTING AND ATTEMPTS TO ANSWER QUESTION:

Matt Damon on job security and the teaching profession: “See, you take this MBA style thinking, right? It’s the problem with ed. policy right now. Is this intrinsically paternalistic view of problems that are much more complex than that.”

So rather than addressing the woman’s question, he’s basically trying to brow-beat her with his homespun Cambridge-style ‘er South Boston style street tough routine, as he did in 1997 as Will Hunting. He could just say, “I think you’re oversimplifying the issue.” But, noooo. He’s MAATTT DAAAMONNN. So he has to unnecessarily spruce up his sentences with uuhhh, well uhh,  paternalistically paternal view is  intrinsically intrinsic in so far as the, well heretofore, as previously mentioned in the affidavit, concerning the complexity of the issues, so say one, so say you all.  Certainly sounds like he’s winning some sort of an argument.

Damon continues: “It’s like saying a teacher is going to get lazy when they get tenure.”

Uhhhhh, yeah, right.What hogwash to assume that public employees get lazy on the job once they know they can’t get fired. What bullpuckey!?

Here’s how Will Hunting circa 1997 might have responded to Matt Damon ‘2011:

INT. MATT DAMON’S CAMBRIDGE HOME — DAY

MATT DAMON RESTS COMFORTABLY BETWEEN WILL HUNTING’S LEGS, GENTLY APPLYING LOTION. THEY’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ARGUMENT.

DAMON: A teacher wants to teach. I mean, why else would you take a shitty salary and really long hours, and, and, and do that job………unless you really loved to do it.

WILL: Because maybe you like your job. Or maybe you don’t. Maybe you got into it for the idealistic and romantic view of being some kind of a Jaime Escalante type Stand and Deliver teacher who gets a class of kids to ace differential calculus exams.  But the reality is, three years in, you’re just a broke down, glorified baby-sitter with permanently sewn in sweat stains, making next to nothing, playin’ wet nurse to a group of latchkey kids and hoppers down in Roxbury, who’d sooner split your head open at a Denny’s than give you an apple, and you’re thinkin’ to yourself, ‘this job market sucks. what else can i do? where else can i find some decent job security?’ but by then you’re too tired to do anything else involving a resume on careerbuilder.com, and you start doing the math — maybe you can tough it out, herd this cattle of future welfare cases and meth heads, and pretty soon you’ll have enough tenure to retire and occasionally take a cruise to some tropical isle while your former students are either holding up a liquor mart in Malden, serving a dime for assault or money laundering — take your pick — all the while your eldest child is now in the same freakin’ school you teach at, and what you really want to do is send him to a decent private school, anywhere but the craphole you teach at, only you’re against school vouchers like the good little progressive that you are, and the one student you spent all your time and effort to get through to, the one student who you thought would make it all worth while, just got knocked up by your worst student, and 15 years from now their kid is going to walk into your youngest kid’s high school and shank him in the groin during detention just for the hell of it. and while you’re in the morgue waiting to  ID the body, you’re thinking ‘i worked all these years in the U.S. public education system for an unfulfilling job with a shitty salary, but, hey, at least i can lie to people and tell them i love what i do for a living, and maybe they’ll believe it…’

so, yeah, most teachers with guaranteed pay and little incentive are going to take the path of least resistance, because the system knows it’s not worth your time and effort to reach these students or give it your all. it’s called a misallocation of your time and resources. no one else gives a f*** so why should you? you get tenure, why shouldn’t you get lazy like every other g**d*** public school teacher, nay public employee,  in the greater boston area…”

MATT DAMON: MATT DAAAMONNN!

FADE TO BLACK

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