MICHELLE OBAMA: YA KNOW WHAT’S GREAT WITH HAPPY MEALS…?

AP: “Michelle Obama says McDonald’s decision to add apples to its Happy Meals is a positive step toward solving childhood obesity.

The first lady is heading a nationwide effort to reverse childhood obesity rates.”

“McDonald’s said Tuesday that it will make apples a standard item in its kids’ meals. The company is also pledging to reduce sugars, saturated fats, sodium and calories in its menu items by 2020.”

We at the Darjeeling prefer to avoid stories dealing with FLOTUS. We don’t care about her, her vegetable gardens, her lavish Antoinette jet-setting lifestyle on taxpayer dime, or her biceps. Don’t care. We’re definitely amused by her laughably bad college thesis at Princeton (did anyone actually bother to read or edit it??). We’re mystified by her “first time in my adult lifetime, I’m proud to be an American” comment. We’re definitely interested in that claptrap patient-dumping Chicago hospital she took a paycheck from (thought it gets little traction from the stenographers in the mainstream press. But, in general, our target is not Michelle or her two kids. It’s her toolbag of a husband.

HOWEVER, it seems we have to explain a few things to First Lady Michelle Obama. So here goes:

NO ONE GOES TO

 

FREAKIN’

 

MCDONALD’S FOR

 

APPLE

 

SLICES!

It defeats the whole purpose of going to McDonald’s; a purpose which has been completely ruined by concern troll health “experts” and liberal academics over the past 10-20 years. McDonald’s is about little pancakes with maple syrup, hashbrowns, sausage, and eggs. On a Saturday, maybe twice a month, with you mom and dad. McDonald’s may also be about a Big Mac with fries or a Chocolate Fudge Sundae. Maybe it’s also about an Egg McMuffin with a coffee. But it’s never been about a salad or an Asian salad or a wrap or healthy organic fries, and it’s certainly NEVER been about apple slices. No one goes to McDonald’s for freakin’ apple slices. It’s against the laws of nature.

From the AP: “The move by McDonald’s, which has become a leader in moving from just burgers and fries to more nutritious fare like oatmeal and salads, comes as fast food chains face intense scrutiny from health officials and others who blame the industry for childhood obesity and other health-related problems.

Health officials have but one role: check out the epidemiological studies, count the numbers, and keep us informed. You’re not there to enforce how restaurants serve their food. You’re not there to limit the choices on the menu. You’re not even there to keep kids healthy or force diet recommendations on anyone. You monitor, you advise, you make recommendations.

Critics wasted no time complaining that McDonald’s changes don’t go far enough. Kelle Louaillier, executive director of a group called Corporate Accountability International, said McDonald’s is just trying to get ahead of impending regulations that will restrict the marketing of junk food to children and require restaurants to post nutrition information on menus, among other changes.

“McDonald’s is taking steps in the right direction,” says Louaillier, whose group has pushed for McDonald’s to retire Ronald McDonald. “But we should be careful in heaping praise on corporations for simply reducing the scope of the problem they continue to create.”

Yo! McDonald’s doesn’t force anyone to do anything! McDonald’s doesn’t put a gun to anyone’s head and tell them to buy their fries. McDonald’s doesn’t mandate that anyone eat at their store 3-5 times a week. When we walk into a McDonald’s FAST FOOD restaurant, we all know what we’re getting. We know what we’re there for. It’s a simple exchange. We want the cartoons with Ronald McDonald, the purple dude, and the robber/thief guy. That’s all a part of it. It’s corny and lame, but that’s McDonald’s. And it’s fine.

It’s all well and good to complain about the big, bad Western country with its greed and excess and fast food. But who are we really talking about with this obesity issue? Poor families, right? Poor families looking for cheap ways to keep their kids fed on fast food. You’d rather these kids had the opposite problem I suppose….

The issue isn’t obesity, is it? The issue is forcing the lifestyle choices of the Academic Left onto the poor. The well off have made their choices. If most families wanted to feed their kids fruits and vegetables and organic soy peas and beans, they’d shop at Whole Foods. (Hey, why don’t you guys start a franchise of fast food organic chain restaurants and see how it does? Oh yeah, you’d be out of business in 2 hours.) Michelle Obama and her concern trolls don’t care about fat kids — poor or otherwise — except to the extent that they consider fatties to be an eyesore to their rosy-tinted view of a “transformed” America. What they care about is converting the American dinner-table from meat & potatoes and steaks and burgers and dogs and chips and fries TO tofu slop from an organic garden. Consuming less red meat, killing fewer animals (saving Bambie?), and leading a life sustained by the Green world.

In the free market you give people choices. Maybe they’ll like your choices. Maybe they won’t. And when it comes to apple slices in a happy meal at McDonald’s, most consumers are clearly opting for — I COME HERE FOR A HAPPY MEAL AND YOU WANT ME TO BUY A STUPID APPLE SLICE??? GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE…

But apparently, customers aren’t making those choices in practice. Indeed, only about 11 percent of customers were ordering apples with their Happy Meals, even though 88 percent were aware they had the option, the restaurant said.

DEAR MICHELLE OBAMA:

GET YOUR ASS OUT OF

MY MCDONALD’S VALUE

MENU AND MIND YOUR

OWN  BUSINESS.

McDonald’s needs to find its balls and tell M’Obama and her cult of obesity academics to take a hike. McDonalds — the beloved golden arches — IS America. They should pay no mind to health experts, liberal academics, or the nanny statists trying to force their New Age European mentality on the rest of us. Sell your product and apologize for NOTHING. And above all else, BRING BACK THE BIG GOLDEN ARCHES:

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