How exactly does one do an impression of a neanderthal? It’s a question cavemen, cro-magnun’s, and frat guys have been struggling with since the beginning of time. Is it ape-like? Is it more GEICO insurance cavemen? Is it Ringo Starr? Who knows. It’s one of the more complicated roles in acting, and, in fact, Marlon Brando’s turn as Stanley Kowalski in Streetcar may be the definitive impression to date.

Here’s how the timeline of events transpired:

David Carr of the New York Times goes on some HBO show and states that middle-Americans have low-sloping forehead. Let me repeat that for emphasis: an important figure at the New York Times is calling ALL middle-Americans NEANDERTHALS.

That should be the HUGE story. That a celebrated coke-addict columnist of the New York Times thinks people who don’t live in Manhattan are a subspecies of modern humans. This douchebag, who left his kids in a parked car outside of a dopehouse while he scored some smack, writes as a journalist for a somewhat major newspaper, and anyone who disagrees with his crack-pot worldview hasn’t evolved from their ancestors from 30,000 years ago. This degenerate punk who wears his years of drug abuse all over his body like a festering sore has no respect for decent, hard-working Americans who happen to live in flyover country.

Glenn Beck hears about this and sarcastically thanks Carr for the compliment using a peculiar voice.

Frances Martel sees Glenn Beck’s impression of a Neanderthal, and her first instinct is that Beck is doing an impression of a mentally handicapped person. (Note: Beck himself has a child with special needs).

In short, a drug-addict columnist at the New York Times named David Carr thinks middle-Americans are Neanderthals.

Francis Martel thinks an impression of a neanderthal (or a middle-American voter) resembles a mentally handicapped person.

Keep it classy, guys.

Martel is a person who takes herself way too seriously (as you’ll see in the video clip below), so it should come as no surprise that she’s completely misinterpreting Glenn Beck who is improvising an impression and having some fun. I honestly don’t know how else one would mimic a Neanderthal. Beck did a goofy voice and I understood what he was expressing, but, according to Martel’s life experience, mentally handicapped folks talk like neanderthals. With someone as humorless as Martel as a writer for Mediaite, it makes me think that Dan Abrams should consider giving her lighter duty. Make that Harvard degree truly useless.

Here is that bundle of Gorgeous Betty herself, Frances Martel, begging to be elected to the Harvard Undergraudate Council back in 2007.

It looks like she’s doing an impression of a 4-year old on Sesame Street. You know, when the puppet would interview the cute little child about her favorite colors or about feelings, etc. Martel, similarly, has that soft, infantile voice as she blabs inane nonsense about eliminating parliamentary procedures from a student government. Awwww, look at the cute little progresso-marxist trying to change things from the inside. Sooooo cute….

This idiot, Martel, is the same knucklehead who thought Dana Loesch’s role as a mother wasn’t that important compared to the important “work” that women like Martel do, wasting time and a Harvard education.


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