December 6, 2011

NEW OBAMA SCANDAL: Has President Obama been getting a Lewinsky in the Oval Office after all?

From the Blaze:

“During what otherwise would have been a typical White House press briefing Monday, Jay Carney fielded a real curve ball from World Net Daily reporter Lester Kinsolving, a man known for asking outlandish questions. The topic? Whether President Obama approves of bestiality in the military.

Kinsolving was referring to a recent Senate vote repealing sodomy and bestiality bans in the military.”

Bo strikes us more of a trucker or Bear-ish Top.

No comment from the Man-Dog-Love association.

A White House insider reports that Obama likes to spend a great deal of time by himself in the oval office with just Bo, and seems unusually relaxed when he finally emerges from behind closed doors.

 

December 6, 2011

RIP OCCUPY WALL STREET (2011-2011)

MILBANK: “Two months ago, there was hope that the Occupy Wall Street movement and its offshoots could be the start of political counterweight to the Tea Party. But that never happened, and any last chance of it ended when New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg closed the encampment in lower Manhattan.

 Nationwide, the movement lost its idealistic roots amid reports of accidental deaths, drug overdoses and scattered violence. In Washington over the weekend, 31 demonstrators in McPherson Square, a previously peaceful encampment, were arrested in a standoff with police.

In nearby Freedom Plaza, there are fewer tents than there were earlier in fall — and it wasn’t exactly booming then.

Occupy Wall Street now rests with its other Democrat, Soros-backed astroturf predecessors, the Coffee Party and the No Labels Party.

You won’t be missed and don’t worry…we’ll clean up after you.

December 5, 2011

For those out there with Tebow Derangement Syndrome…

Here’s a little something for those folks out there who can’t help but project their own psychotic self-hatred onto someone else.

Here it is from another angle:

Actually, that’s the same angle basically, isn’t it?

Apologies to those of you out there with Tebow Derangement Syndrome. Symptoms include foaming at the mouth, spasms of vitriolic leftism, and wasting hours and hours leaving angry comments on chat forums about how much Tebow makes you hate your life. Things will get better (probably).

Worst QB of all-time? Well that’s just garbage on its face. I’m sure most of you have heard of Leaf, Ryan, or Marinovich, Todd, or Toretta, Gino, or Dorsey, Ken, or Smith, Troy. They sucked.

By the way, Apu, our IT guy, has won as many Super Bowls as Meril Hoge and Chris Carter combined.

December 5, 2011

TEA PARTY WON’T SUPPORT ESTABLISHMENT CANDIDATE #1

…so they’ve decided to support Establishment Candidate #2 (Gingrich)??

The GOP party is like a drug transportation operation. Romney with his obvious RINO credentials was their mule — the grassroots caught onto him quickly, so he gets caught red-handed being a RINO. Meanwhile, Gingrich skates by with his big stash of RINO and assumes the inside track on the GOP nomination.

It’s almost like the GOP is run by a bunch of Democrats.

December 5, 2011

SIDESHOW?

So what we’re hearing is that Trump is a joke, but Blitz Blitzer, Anderson Cooper, and John “Candidate Interruptus”  King are serious moderators??

You’re telling me CNN doesn’t do Monday Night Football-esque sideshows when they intro candidates?

 

November 30, 2011

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO ‘HOLY CRAP, IS THAT TRUE?? IT IS, ISN’T IT?’: Only One Person Has Ever Admitted to Having Sex with Barry Obama (and it’s a MAN Baby, YEAHHH!)

For all the talk of mistresses, ex-wives, interns, porn stars, and jolly good times, it reminds us of how lucky we are to have a President in Barack Obama who’s never had any lusty babes come forward to admit having had an affair with him. No porn stars in his past. No Chicago strippers. No formerly perky college coeds. No law students who had a brief fling with the Urkel-esque constitutional law lecturer. No seedy females recollecting a one night stand. No hippie chick yoga instructors. No women from adulfriendfinder with a particular fetish for interracial sex. Seriously? No white chicks in Barack Obama’s past? No relationships before M’Obama with now famous TV Journalists who knew Barry back in college. Not one. No one? Not nobody?

Not. A. One. And we’d know if there had been one since the media surely would have reported on it. Because they’re objective and they follow the story wherever it leads. They’d never bury an Obama story.

(Hey ladiieeees, Sidebar:…What do you make of a guy who basically seems to have no sexual history whatsoever? I’m just asking. He’s not a hardcore fundamentalist Christian. He’s not Muslim (allegedly). He’s a freewheeling atheist (for all intents and purposes), but he has no history with women. What would you make of a guy like that ladies? Be honest. What. Is. Up. With a guy like that? This slender, somewhat effeminate Urkel who enjoys giving people the impression that he’s into art and culture.

)

In one of the Bill Ayers autobiographies, Dreams something something, the main character “Barry” — friend of the Chicanos, Marxists, structural feminists and punk-rock performance poets — did in fact have a white girlfriend. I recall this from my  Dreams something something bookclub. But I think she died while trying to detonate a bomb in her NYC apartment, no? As I recall, she lost track of the red and green wires while watching a new episode of Welcome Back Kotter.

What we’re really saying here is it’s just oh-so-curious that in all of human history not one person has ever admitted to having had so much as a Lewinsky with Barry Obama.

Except for one……..

And suddenly…doesn’t Larry Sinclair seem credible? Worthy of a second look? I’m sure Brian Williams, Stephaloplolpolous, and the Po’-Litico will be all over it.

All this talk of dudes with penises hooking up with dudes with penises reminded me of the famous 1992 film “The Crying Game”.  Take a good hard look at the young lady in the movie poster below. Look carefully at the woman’s face. No, look carefully. You look but you do not see. Look at the outline of her face. Look again. Do you see it?

:::The Crying Game/The Sixth Sense/The Usual Suspects moment of twists, epiphany, and revelation:::

What I’m saying is that’s Barack Obama in the picture. Barack Obama IS Jaye Davidson and Jaye Davidson IS Barack Obama.

Barack Obama is actually a transsexual people. Once you begin to slowly accept this — once you’re in that haze of bewilderment, shock, and awe — then and only then should you play the Boy George:

*No problem with Obama being gay or transsexual, by the way.  It’s the Marxist thing that is and always has been the issue.

November 29, 2011

TIM HUNTSMAN-MANIA!!! (Limping through back alleys in Concord, New Hampshire)

According to Rasmussen, Rob Huntsman, former Governor of Utah, Obama apparatchik, and ex-frontman for Wizard, has surged in the New Hampshire polls to 4th place at a whopping 11%. Using his unconventional ‘cockroaches shall inherit the Earth’ strategy, Huntsley has been able to avoid the nuclear barrage of scrutiny heaped on the other GOP candidates. Like a postman sneaking in through the back window of a married woman’s home to satiate his fetish for women’s undergarments, Hunsacker has finally sniffed his way into double digits in a state that Beltway Insiders (meaning Karl Rove and his buddies) consider to be vital in the 2012 nomination process (though it’s still ranked in the 40s when it comes to size, population, and land size).

Here is the last known photo of Tom Huntsman (D-Utah):

When reached for comment MSNBC anchor, Chris Matthews said, “We’re all fans of this guy Doug Huntsman. You know what he reminds me of? He reminds me of those old style Republicans who used to exist in my memory but may have never actually existed in reality. He’s a handsome guy. That’s important to me, by the way. You want to have a leader you can imagine hooking up with your wife while you’re listening from the closet. That kind of stuff is important to a hard-working, blue collar stiff like me. Plus,  Mark Huntsman has that great complexion and that little spike of silver his hair that all men of great importance have.”

Once off his tangent, Matthews continued, “This is huge. If Bill Huntsman can get 4th place in the New Hampshire primary, he’ll basically have cinched the GOP nomination right then and there. I know my network will treat him like the putative GOP nominee-elect and we’ll be pushing that meme hard. That’s our job dammit!”

November 29, 2011

IS AARON BLAKE A CHRONIC MASTURBATOR ?

Hey Twitterers…Looking for any kind of information on the useless life of one Aaron Blake of the Washington Post. We’ve heard of rumors concerning the blogger for “The Fix”. We’re merely asking for your help to determine if these rumors are true or not. Maybe they are. Maybe they aren’t. But the public has a right to know, and of course it’s newsworthy.

Is Aaron Blake a chronic masturbator? Does he pick his nose and then eat it? We may have an anonymous source close to Mr. Blake who says he’s underdeveloped in certain areas of his anatomy? The same source may have said he was “messy” as a child and peed in his bed until he was late into his teen years? Can anyone confirm this? We also may have a report of an underage girl who said that Aaron Blake stared at her one time and made her uncomfortable? Have any of his ex-girlfriends thought he was a bit of a creep? Please come forward. We’ll reward you with discarded Washington Post newspapers from staff intern Rajiv’s gerbil cage.

November 28, 2011

BYE, BYE BARNEY…

I’m not going to miss you so and I’m glad you had to go….

Barney Frank — friend to Fannie — calls it a career. Frank will spend time rebuilding a floundering prostitution business out of his Newton, Mass bachelor pad.

(NECN: “Barney Frank Not Running For Reelection“)

November 27, 2011

S.A.T. ANALOGY — Tim Tebow is to Sarah Palin as Ryan Leaf is to Barack Obama

Two of these individuals defy the expectations of a deranged media that, at once, hates them and is obsessed with them. In spite of it all both have miraculously found ways to be successful, and inspired legions of followers in the process; much to the dismay of their aggressively, hostile critics. To be sure, there are appropriate critiques of their shortcomings, but they seem to take it all in with unabashed optimism and good cheer. They also happen to be people of Faith.

The bottom two are much ballyhooed over-hyped busts with miserable performances and a record of failure. Both men have dealt with their inadequacies by blaming everyone else but themselves, and both have vented their frustrations with sneering displays of anger (Leaf, Obama).  It’s been known for quite some time but let’s make it official — Barack Obama IS the Ryan Leaf of politics.

Read Tebow, Palin, and the Pain of Remorse at the American Thinker.

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